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grasshopper
Senior Member
1652 Posts |
 Posted - 10 May 2007 : 23:31:22
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Seeing as you like our canine friends
A man takes his Pyrannean Mountain Dog to the vet. My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
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pyrmaster
Junior Member
United Kingdom
177 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2007 : 08:01:09
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| thats good where do you get them |
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grasshopper
Senior Member
1652 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2007 : 19:39:31
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Do have a bit of an imagination - Wayne, but do get cart loads sent to me and from my places of work....at least it was clean.
Here's another:
Irish Setter lay there chewing a bone, when he got up his leg fell off.
and again:
Bloke in a pub watching a dog licking his bits - "wish I could do that" he said casually, his mate comes back with 'give him a biscuit, maybe he'll let you'
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Edited by - grasshopper on 11 May 2007 19:43:37 |
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reg
Junior Member
Christmas Island
427 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2007 : 20:18:02
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| woman buys a wall mirror from BQ,chap at the counter says do you want a screw for that madam,no thanks..............but if i suck your c**k can i have a lawn mower |
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integrale1
Junior Member
Madagascar
410 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2007 : 20:28:53
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Very funny,,i think we have found something phil's good at |
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reg
Junior Member
Christmas Island
427 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2007 : 20:48:10
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| hes good at tyring to drive on his roof |
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grasshopper
Senior Member
1652 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2007 : 21:31:07
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| I'm damn good at written english too, learnt it on the boat over... |
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pyrmaster
Junior Member
United Kingdom
177 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 11:18:51
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| i think you got the wrong boat |
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grasshopper
Senior Member
1652 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 20:15:33
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| Took you a long time to think of that Wayne, 5 nearly 6 weeks - bet you don't fare too well in the pub quiz. |
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pyrmaster
Junior Member
United Kingdom
177 Posts |
Posted - 21 June 2007 : 19:32:31
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No it didnt take him long to think of it I have been keeping him busy and I accidently told the pc that emails from the forum were junk!!! and i dont mean the boat you arrived on |
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grasshopper
Senior Member
1652 Posts |
Posted - 21 June 2007 : 20:21:30
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| OOooh , get you! keeping him busy - so YOU wear the trousers in your house - and you're in charge of the pc., how pc is that?next time I see Wayne down the track I'll ring you to see how he feels. |
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pyrmaster
Junior Member
United Kingdom
177 Posts |
Posted - 21 June 2007 : 21:05:05
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| Good idea but i know how he "feels" I wish you wouldnt keep making me laugh you are interrupting some serious ebay shopping here.Yes I wear the the trousers here we both do No Northern male attitudes allowed here!!! |
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grasshopper
Senior Member
1652 Posts |
Posted - 21 June 2007 : 22:40:15
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That's amazing! you type with a stammer...do you mean 'feel' emotionally or is that the physical sense - mind you if you like e-bay shopping, you must mean emotion - how can you shop without the touchy-feely bit - and what happens if it doesn't fit?
As for having a 'pop' at the Northerners - be careful or I'll tell them where you live.....that way you'll get over-run with flat cap wearing whippet fanciers (no meat on them - best really deep fried then the bones go crunchy) |
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pyrmaster
Junior Member
United Kingdom
177 Posts |
Posted - 22 June 2007 : 16:43:39
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| I can shop anywhere and anytime!!!! Most northern men would run a mile from our front door they cant cope with "snotty southern women" we have too many of our own opinions for them to cope with. |
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grasshopper
Senior Member
1652 Posts |
Posted - 22 June 2007 : 19:35:30
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| Ah! so you have a cold also - all women are self opinionated - just that some know when to keep it to themselves - as they all should... |
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